How Far Am I Willing to Go and What Do I Have to Lose?

I recently learned a principle used in some addiction recovery programs that I think everyone can apply. It involves three questions:

1. What do I want?
2. What am I willing to do?
3. How far am I willing to go?

In addiction recovery, the answers to "What do I want?" may be:

• "To stop drinking"
• "To quit smoking"
• "To stop viewing porn"

and the answer to "What am I willing to do?" may be:

• "Hang out with different friends"
• "Go to bed early"
• "Replace my cigarettes with candy"
• "Attend an addiction recovery program"
• "Cancel my internet subscription"

The third question, "How far am I willing to go?" is about determination. What are you willing to do if your answer to the second question doesn't work? It could be rephrased, "How badly do I want it?"

This process is all about making a goal, creating a plan, determining the level of motivation, and then creating backup plans. This same process can apply to other goals. Some different answers to the first question might be:

• "To lose weight"
• "To become a writer"
• "To improve my relationship with my spouse"

These three questions are powerful, but I also propose that a fourth question may make them more powerful for some:

4. What do I have to lose?

On my mission in Brazil we would often try to help people break addictions (normally smoking). One technique we tried was to have the person create a list of reasons to continue and reasons to stop the addiction. Most of the reasons to continue were things like, "smoking helps me relax" or "I like smoking". The reasons to quit tended to be more like, "my health", "my children", or "it costs a lot".

From this experience, I realized that sometimes we need to remember the reason for our goals. "Why do I want to do this?" "What will I lose if I don't do it?" Some answers to the fourth question might be:

• "My health"
• "My confidence in my ability to write"
• "Money"
• "My wife"

This can be very sobering for some goals, but it may just give you the push that you need.

I challenge everyone to ask themselves these four questions. You may come up with multiple answers for several of them. That's perfectly fine. In fact, I would say it's very good.

1. What do I want?
2. What am I willing to do?
3. How far am I willing to go?
4. What do I have to lose?

What is Freedom?

Politicians constantly talk about freedom. After all, freedom is the American ideal. But, sometimes it feels like the term freedom means different things to different people. This leads to my question, "What is freedom?"

As a language nerd I start with the dictionary. In the Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary Eleventh Edition I found the following definition, "the absence of necessity, coercion, or constraint in choice or action". I also found the following, "FREEDOM has a broad range of application from total absence of restraint to merely a sense of not being unduly hampered or frustrated".

So freedom means we can make our own choices without undue restrictions. Now we get to the meat of the question, "When do restrictions become too extreme?" I think we can agree that some restrictions make sense. A murderer being restricted to prison in order to protect the public is a very prudent restriction. But what about other restrictions? Should we require individuals to purchase health insurance, or allow them to risk the natural consequences?

Some argue that we need to protect everyone, even from their own stupidity. Others believe that personal freedom should only be limited when the actions of one could harm another person. For example: Drinking alcohol is not illegal because the alcohol harms only the health of the individual making the choice. Driving after drinking alcohol is illegal because it endangers others.

I do not believe we should protect people from their own stupidity, but it still is not quite that simple. If an alcoholic is drinking constantly, that hurts his or her family emotionally and financially. Should drinking alcohol be illegal in order to protect the families of those who drink? Where is the line between reasonable and undue restrictions?

Here some scenarios to consider:

A gun enthusiast has a large collection of guns that she enjoys using for target shooting. She has always been responsible in the care of her weapons. She would like to purchase some assault rifles to expand her collection. Is it reasonable to restrict her ability to purchase these weapons because they are military-style weapons?

A woman with a history of anger problems wishes to purchase a handgun for self-defense. Is it reasonable to restrict her ability to purchase this weapon because she might use it in anger?

A gay couple wishes to be married. Is it reasonable to restrict their ability to be married because it offends others?

A man wishes to marry two women. Is it reasonable to restrict their ability to be married because it offends others?

A woman wishes to marry two men. Is it reasonable to restrict their ability to be married because it offends others?

A gay couple wishes to be married in a chapel belonging to a church that believes homosexuality is a sin. Is it reasonable to restrict their ability to be married in that location because it offends others? Is it reasonable to restrict the church's ability to choose how its property will be used because it will offend the couple?

A healthy young man wants to save money by not purchasing health insurance. He knows that it will bankrupt him if he gets seriously ill, but he is willing to take the risk. Is it reasonable to restrict his ability to decide what to purchase in order to protect him and his family?

An Example of the Believers (1 Timothy 4:12)

What does Paul mean when he says, "be thou an example of the believers"? What traits should believers have? The answer may be different for everyone, but in my life, my father has been "an example of the believers."

As far back as I can remember, my father has been faithful and steady. He works very hard to support his family, he faithfully attends church meetings, he and my mother regularly attend the *temple, and he accepts callings to serve in the church. He tries to understand what each calling involves and then he works to fulfill that calling as well as he can.

As a home-teacher, who visits families in the *ward and ensures that they are spiritually and physically cared for, my father always did his best. He would help repair roofs, mow lawns, and always try to uplift them. I know, because I was his home-teaching partner for several years.

As a primary teacher, teaching children during sunday school, he tried to help his unruly students feel the power of the gospel in each lesson. I know, because I was one of his students.

As a scoutmaster and then as young men's president in the ward, he worked to make sure that each boy was progressing physically, mentally, socially, and spiritually. He took the time to go camping, cycling, rowing, swimming, or do whatever the boys needed to do to progress. Every boy in that group knew that my father loved them and wanted to help them grow. I know, because I was one of those boys.

To me, this is what it means to be "an example of the believers." I learned about hard work, service, love, and patience by watching my father. I know what he believes, not just because he's told me, but because I have seen him live what he believes. I try each day to become more like my father, because I know that if I can be more like him, I will be more like my Heavenly Father.

*A ward is a local congregation in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

*A temple is a building dedicated as a House of the Lord. To learn more about temples, go to http://lds.org/church/temples?lang=eng or http://www.mormon.org/faq/church-and-temple/

Knowledge and Understanding (2 Nephi 7)

Today in our world science is showing us wonders. Every day we are learning more about the universe. But even with more knowledge about the universe, people have less understanding about life. Many people think that life has no purpose and that it doesn't matter what we do. This is not true.

Even if you don't believe in life after death, life still has a purpose. Maybe that purpose is to improve the world for those to come. Each one of us makes a difference in the world.

Don't be content with knowing lots of facts. Seek to understand the things around you.

Awake, My Soul! (2 Nephi 4)

In chapter 4 of 2 Nephi, Nephi speaks first of his own imperfect state, and then of the miracles that happened in his life. Then he asked himself, "Why should I yield to sin, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to temptations ...?

"Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul." (vs. 27-28)

We all have miracles in our lives. Even if we have difficulties, we also have miracles and reason to say, "Why should I give way to temptations?" We have to awaken our souls. Look at the miracles in life, even if they are small. When we see the good things in life our hearts will rejoice and we will not let sin or discouragement defeat us.

Awake! See the good in life.

Awake! Leave sin behind.

Awake! Find something to better yourself.

A Promised Land (2 Nephi 1)

Most of my posts will be based on my study of the Book of Mormon. This is a book of scripture written by prophets of the Lord who lived anciently on the American continents. Many times these prophets referred to the American continents as a promised land. It is easy to see that it is a blessed land, because on these continents you will find all kinds of precious metals and resources, including gold, copper, oil, forests, fertile plains, and other natural wonders, but what is meant by "promised land"?

The definition of promised land may seem obvious, but it is a land given as part of a covenant, or promise. The land around modern-day Israel is considered a promised land for the descendants of Abraham, because it was promised to the seed of Abraham as part of a covenant made to him by God. The American continents are also a promised land. The covenant related to this land is spoken of in 2 Nephi 1.

After reaching the American continents, Lehi spoke to his children and reminded them of the promises the Lord had made. This is found in verses 9 through 11.

Wherefore, I, Lehi, have obtained a promise, that inasmuch as those whom the Lord God shall bring out of the land of Jerusalem shall keep his commandments, they shall prosper upon the face of this land; and they shall be kept from all other nations, that they may possess this land unto themselves. ... But behold, when the time cometh that they shall dwindle in unbelief, ... [the Lord] will bring other nations unto them, and he will give unto them power, and he will take away from them the lands of their possessions, and he will cause them to be scattered and smitten.

Look at current events in the world. There is a lot of crime and violence in the world. Things like homosexuality and sexual relationships outside of marriage are becoming common place. The world is dwindling in unbelief.

This promise may seem specific to the Americas, but any people in any land will be blessed if they just do what they know is right. And any people in any land will suffer if they allow, or even ignore, what they know is wrong. Do you voice your opinion when you see others doing what is wrong, or do you just allow it to happen? How can you help those around you? Think carefully and pray for direction, and you will find a way to be an influence for good.

Scripture Study

I apologize for not writing any posts this summer. I have been very busy. I will do my best to start writing weekly again. Thank you for being patient and not giving up on my blog.

Today I've been thinking about the scriptures. I believe that the Bible, the Book of Mormon, the Doctrine and Covenants, and the Pearl of Great Price are scripture, or the words of God as written by His prophets. If you don't believe in these books of scripture, then most likely you believe that the Bible, the Torah, the Koran, or some other book is scripture. If you don't agree with my definition of what is scripture, please leave a comment with your definition. I would love to understand more about other beliefs regarding scripture.

Returning to my subject, I've been thinking specifically about how I read the scriptures. Sometimes I read and only think about the story on the page, but why would God give us a collection of stories? Why do we read fairy-tales to children? To teach lessons. Fairy-tales teach lessons about honesty, bravery, intelligence, etc. The scriptures teach us about obedience to God, worthiness, humility, etc. We need to look past the story and see the lesson.

I've already stated the I intend to post about what I learn while reading the scriptures, and I intend to continue. I challenge each of you to begin to study your scriptures, and not just read them. Start keeping a journal of notes on what you find. Then try to apply in your life what you learned.